Showing posts with label Nisse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nisse. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Can't Let Go


Last night I made true on my promise/threat to take down the leftovers of last year's Christmas decorations at last. House elf revealed himself to be somewhat of a traditionalist and cainophobe, the latter describing a person with a phobia of all things new and unknown, of changes in general - didn't know that, did you. Well, to be honest, I did not know either and to have this manifest itself in this here Nisse, took me by surprise. 
We argued over an hour about whether all-year-round Christmas decorations could be the next big thing. I told him I did not see that happening anytime soon. 

Suffice it to say that elf was not in the highest of spirits afterwards, thus withheld all co-operation (not that there was much to begin with) and attempted to sabotage my packing efforts with all his might. I did not want to cross said elf - last time I did, my hoover broke down. This was considerably more serious in the bigger system of things and I cannot afford to make enemies right now - remember my ass-the-size-of-the-moon problem, the general lack of a love interest in this chapter of my life, the up-in-the-air feeling I have when I think of my job situation - you see my problem... So no, I cannot handle devious flatmates on top of that. I have too much fabulousness going on in my fabulous life as it is. As I am my elf's keeper I sat him down and explained in kind and gentle words that Christmas once was very much about waiting and preparing oneself, that originally it was part of a season of quiet, darkness and secrecy, of being kind to others and putting said others first without making a big song and dance about it. 
He simply looked at me like I was demented and retorted indignantly that he KNEW that, thank me very much! It was sort of his JOB to KNOW that and live accordingly. 

Upon my question what the hell his problem was exactly, he simply answered that Christmas once a year was not enough. 
Christmas was of course code for goodwill and kindness. I shall not now go into his tirade about the general lack thereof the rest of the year. What with the rushing and buying and stressing and fretting and trying to be ever bigger and better and simply more - a race that reached its climax at precisely Christmas - he felt that mankind was not on a good path. Well, doesn't take a genius, does it, to work that one out. 

Anyway, we agreed that the decorations needed to come down at some point and last night was as good a time as any after Christmas. 
We also agreed that the SPIRIT of Christmas is not something that should go up and down with boughs of holly and baubles and candles and wreaths of ivy and bits of mistletoe and what have you. 
So go out and spread some Christmas cheer all year round, you little Scrooges. 

I know - once again I have set the world's moral compass due north. 
You're welcome.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Yoga Elf

Nisse is all for self-improvement these days. Me not so much. In fact, I believe I am as good as I am ever going to get, no room for improvement here, nor sir.
Yes, I am that brilliant. In fact I am genius on a stick, wit on legs, my style and grace is bottled and sold to the highest bidder.
House guest begs to differ. Am ignoring him. 
Told him to be VERY nice to me if he wants to keep up that 5 AM chanting and not get thrown out of window some cold and rainy morning. Casually mentioned he is not miraculously turning into Buddha himself, just because he crosses his legs. His girth I informed him is not proportional to his level of enlightenment. He's ignoring me. 

A lot of ignoring going on in modern household of mine...
Very mature.
Very Zen.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Beginning To Look Like I Feel

... and that is bloated and doughy and overweight, if you want to know.
And it seems Nisse lay across my face last night. There can be no other explanation for the patterns and wrinkles on my visage.

Or I am just getting old...
While I know I am, I am also refusing - and steadfastly so - to let that get me down.
Yeah, I know I'm a laugh a minute.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Get Shit Done

I am actively doing precisely that. Amazing, I know.
Nisse - of course - is no help whatsoever. But at least he let's me get on with it.

Now, that is a bit unfair. It's not his job to help with that kind of thing. So, I guess I am saying sorry.
See, new year, new me.
It's not gonna last - let us not kid ourselves here. So I am making the most of it and hoping for the best.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Heart To Heart

I must say, Nisse has been rather a joy to have around. His quiet company is very pleasant. Of course, the occasional ribbing I could do without but one can't have everything.
As I mentioned before house elves are peculiar types. Loners. He exlained to me in no uncertain terms that I will NEVER get him to dance, shall NEVER EVER discuss boys with him and furthermore, that under no, NO! circumstances is he ever to be cuddled. And here I was thinking that we could snuggle up on the sofa and watch movies and have girl talk. So much for that. And no dance parties either.
He sounds a bit of a party pooper, doesn't he. I assure you, he is not. And I am glad he is the way he is. I can live with his quirks and it seems he doesn't mind mine. (Wow, this must be the first time I can say that about a male companion.)

#coulditbemagic
#Nisseisbackintown

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

That's What You Get

Had a bit of a row with Nisse about yesterday evening's entertainment. I won.
Soon after my hoover broke down. Somehow I was not surprised.
 

Monday, December 1, 2014

New Lodger

Every year around this time I am allowed the privilege (and weirdness) of having a Christmas elf as a temporary house guest.
He is Nisse, I should say A nisse, as he is Norwegian and that is what such folk are called up there. Well, he is Norwegian via Rostock and came into my life some time in the early 2000.
We both decided that callling him Nisse would do just fine.

Apart from sleeping and hanging around the house he doesn't do much. I get the occasional comment on my Christmas decorations or my skills in the kitchen but he keeps his appearances to a minimum which I think is a shame. We could do all sorts of things together, discuss current events, my becoming a, nay THE Greek Goddess, the Beeb's production of The Musketeers in general and the male leads in particular.
Of course, he'd probably simply roll his eyes and I'd drive him mad  - incidently it would be my pleasure - with my fancying basically all four of them.
Oh, it could be just lovely! But, alas, he is a funny one, that Nisse. Very much his own elf, I learned.
Don't think this year will be different.
But you never know.
Watch this space... and incidentally (indeed!) Instagram.


P.S. I KNOW Void, you could not care less. 

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