16:37

That is the time I managed to heave my old bones out of bed. And I am proud of it! Eat that, Early Bird!

Also I look out of the window and at the mighty endless blue sky, the clouds making shapes and funny faces and I must confess: it leaves me totally unimpressed.

So what we've had a bit of an under-developed Summer?! Why this need for perfection, why this unhappiness?

And why oh why this blatant disregard of the need for acceptance and gratitude. I should inform the Bradley Police!

Also I am confused as to why everyone is getting their knickers in a twist about the blooming weather. Since it looks like this is what it's gonna be from now on we should really get used to the fact of Summers being either rainy and fiendishly cold affairs or so desert-like that we may witness a rise in things such as Riding a Camel - Beginners Classes, or How to decorate your Drifting Dune.
I do believe it has been made sufficiently clear that the chances of this weather/climate business ever getting better again are super slim (they're like the skinny jeans, the drain pipes of meterology). I mean it's clear that it's downhill from here, right? It's NOT going to get better (unless each and everyone of us decides to vacate and locomote at exactly the same time) and thus it's a bit like aging. You can't fight it, you can't win. Best thing you CAN do is do it gracefully.

So here I am gracefully sleeping in on sunny days, gracefully sticking to the shade and gracefully declining invitations to activities that involve exposure to UV rays.

Really, I am all about grace these days. I am practising detachment. I am not pissing and moaning about things I have no control over. You should try it some time. It's so liberating.

Only problem now: what am I going to do with that Bangin' Bikini Bod of mine?!

The Human Form

I have been for a walk today and something occured to me. Why is it that bigger men think they need to take off their shirts and show off their upper bodies once the sun comes out and the temperature's a little over 70°F?
Why is that?! And I am talking BIG men here with hairy backs and all. Are they celebrating something?
I get it, it's warm and sunny, a nice day in anyone's books - but WHY SPOIL IT?! I mean, you don't have to share THAT. What's so appealing in showing off your flab?
I don't care if you hide a six pack underneath all that excess flabby skin. If you can't see it it is most likely not there. So cover up! Seriously.

While men go parading around their extra pounds, we women are being told how to dress flatteringly and essentially hide. I have never seen a magazine article giving that same advice to men. "Summer is on the way and here are some fashionable ways of how to hide your manboobs". Not once.

O.k., I agree, some women cannot be told. They don't listen. They are all over the place, as it were.
Celebrating their shapeliness.
However, more often than not that can be a little much to take in. Again you want to call - please, cover that up.

Still, I do believe it is more common in men to flaunt what they think they have - an attractive, well at least not offensive looking, body, which clearly they don't in most of the cases - than it is in women.

Are they thus self-confident? Do they really believe they are God's gift to the human eye? Or do they really not give a damn and are just hot and bothered when the sun comes out. Well, here's a thought - GO INTO THE SHADE!

I know, I know. Some will say that is the human form! It is God's creation, it's the body that He gave him or her, so why cover it up, why hide or sit in the shade all summer? Embrace it.
I appreciate that. I accept that. I just don't think that's what God gave him or her. That's all.
I'm sure, God didn't go Oh, let's put them Godiva pralinés onto her hips and let's put some beer into his belly so it REALLY shows...
Well... maybe He did, but I am sure He didn't mean it in a good way. That'd be some sick sense of humour.

No, all I am saying or rather asking is, please use nakedness wisely.
(Oh God, next thing you know there will be inner-city signs to that effect.)

Not everything needs to be on public display. Dare to be mysterious this summer. And give the Man Upstairs a break. 'cause he has to bloody look at all of that, all-seeing an' all.