There is
something splendid about travelling early in the morning. Something that makes
you feel like you're a god. Alright, a minor one.
At so many
moments in life mankind feels overwhelmed and lonely, and cut off. Early
mornings however, seem to have quite the opposite effect. At least on me.
There is joy
and hope. There is being-overwhelmed, too - but for different reasons. It feels
a little like all was here simply for me to see, for my profound pleasure, for
my wonder and awe.
Is that why
they call it a miracle? The miracle of another dawn, another day - the grace of
a fresh start?
And indeed
it is, isn't it?
There it
comes, that new day, utterly unspoilt.
(Am I
beginning to sound like some born-again something or other? FYI: No, I have not
joined a cult.)
Still, there
is magic in the moment when the first sunlight hits the earth.
A silent,
gradual march on darkness and without fail light always prevails. Which is
reassuring and can, if you are that way inclined, give you that proverbial ounce
of hope.
I am indeed
travelling. With Deutsche Bahn. At this precise moment this fact does not
lessen the pleasure of my witnessing the sun coming up. At the butt crack of
dawn (as Kathy Griffin phrased it so aptly) I rolled out of bed and onto the train
- not in one continuous motion, mind, but the smoothness of it all was
spectacular. I am sure it had to do with the fact that I am going on a sort of
mini-break to Brussels
Still I
cannot quite help but wonder where the Dickens this dawn/hope babble is coming
from?
Granted, I
love travelling early in the morning. Granted too, that I love going to Brussels
I admit I am
in holiday-mode, thus, in high spirits. This week away is sorely needed after
what seems an eternity of gloom and depression.
So, I may be
forgiven if I feel like "a change is gonna come". But then that tends
to freak people out, including me. Of late I have become more than a bit
apprehensive of change.
But today -
with this glorious day just beginning - I am willing to lift my head a little
bit higher than usual and actually take a peak at what life may have in store.
I am in dire need of practice, I'll admit readily. You get like that after a
shit storm has rained down on you and caused a substantial change in your view
on life and yourself. That is just a fact and I wish to God I was one of those
people who after they have fallen get up again and carry on regardless. Nope,
not me. Once I am down it takes me a while. Hell, it took a lot of work to get
me so low. Might as well make the most of it.
Wallowing?
Who me? Occasionally one resorts to that kind of behaviour, I admit. However,
this time it was just difficult to simply pretend nothing had happened. Also I
had misplaced that brush I usually dust myself off with after major and minor
mishaps.
Is it
possible that this week in Brussels Brussels
So if I have
any say in this change that seems to be a-coming then I’d like this week to be
the Auftakt, the prelude.
(I like how
I am not convinced that I could have a choice in this and that I seem to
believe that change is an event that is coming at us from the outside
exclusively. At this point I wish very much to set myself straight once and for
all: here, change is a) not an event and b) happens within you, too. It’s a
bloody process, it’s gradual, get it?!?! Alright, I do not hesitate to add:
Well at least usually.)
I blame it
on the early hour and my destination but I cannot deny that I feel a rising
conviction, ok now that is a tad too strong. No, I feel hope and I have faith
that at least some of the dark will go, will be chased away and there will be
more clarity, more assurance and confidence. I actually went to sleep last
night with that exact thought of hope in my head. I take that as a sign.
Perhaps it
works this thinking positive things and surrounding myself with positivity. Let
us see, shall we.
