It’s 11:02 of the clock. We are finding ourselves in Frankfurt, surprisingly enough. The northwestern sky I spot from this here location is undecided whether to rain or shine.
I know the feeling.
Croissant or cheese straw for breakfast?
Coffee or plain old water?
Such were the early morning hurdles that needed overcoming. They were
not necessarily super high but it is early days. I am sure there’s more to
come. I can feel it.
And I ask myself: hurdles and their height (or obstacles if you will) –
are they of the It’s all in your head-category? Take sports for example,
the hesitant approach more often than not lets you falter altogether in
front of whatever is to be jumped over and across. Courage! (or simply: get
a move on!) – that was the heart-warming advice my gym teacher used to give.
Why anyone on earth would want to hurtle towards an obstacle ye high and
what is more to try and leap to their possible death in order to get across it
is beyond me. Well, perhaps death is a little too much but sprained ankles and
twisted knees ain’t no laughing matter either.
Anyway, suffice it to say that for the last two years of school I was
exempt from any jumping activities. Hurdles in particular. Plus my lack of
enthusiasm for sports simply did not allow for gravity defiance and other such
nonsense. Just because Jesus walked on water does not mean that one has to
attempt the impossible – could be construed as being presumptuous, even
blasphemous.
However, the main goal was achieved – no bloody hurdles for me.
But back to the point – hesitation, the dilly-dallying, the wavering
when faced with the sheer unconquerable, the unscalable, the seemingly
un-doable will make any obstacle into Mount Etna or something. Enter the doubts
and boom! you are in for visualisations of doom, of failure and all around
loser-dom. And - need I say - you fail, fear becomes truth, nay reality, you
baulk (and stand IN FRONT OF the bloody hurdle).
What if – crazy thought alert – we switched off that overly busy mind of
ours, remain in the moment, no past, no future. Very Zen. VERY difficult!
Yet also truly the only way, after all the past cannot be changed, the
future is unforeseeable.
All we have is that fleeting moment which we have got to make the best
of, live it to the fullest to the best of our abilities.
Ah, the sheer simplicity of it all! Were it not for our fear, our ego,
our pride.
We cling to times gone by, moments lost, minutes past, long to get back
to a time when all was golden. Oh how we wish we could… if only.
Similarly, we paint our future, sometimes rosy, sometimes black, we
predict and guess and basically worry too much.
Yet our remaining in the Here and Now is complicated, even spoiled by said
fears, ego, and pride – that being our true weakness.
And another truth universally acknowledged: it is only the moment which
counts, and which can be truly ours.
Surprisingly, even I do understand the concept of that.
Truly living this way, however, is an entirely different matter. It’s
hard work, so if one is not prepared to
let go of at least some of those comforts we seems to amass in the course of
our lives, then please do not bother at all. We would need to take off our life
jackets made of complacency, laziness, apathy, and indifference, however
reluctantly. Ironically, we know full well that they don’t keep us afloat at
all but rather tend to drag us down into abysses of inactivity, and eventually
unhappiness. Yet still we keep them on for fear of the unknown.
We exchange our sobriety for a bag full of worries and fears. Think
about that!
And that right there seems to be the root of all evil, the Ur-obstacle
as it were.
We are wired to be cautious, to be apprehensive.
We are wired to be frightened of things, to fear the unknown especially
– that ensured survival in times when we inhabited caves and our surroundings
were less than hospitable. To this day we carry this fear. The caves may have
gone, so have predators that may have been dangerous to us in the olden cave
dwelling days, yet the unknown has us scared out of our wits as it were.
Now, we are not really aware of our fears – whatever they may be – when
we’re fine and all is roses. But woe to those experiencing problems, difficulties,
facing – dare I say it – challenges. Oh, then boom! They are there. En masse.
Everywhere. All the time. And they don’t let go. They hold you good and tight.
Being paralysed by fear - that’s where that comes from.
What is worse though, is that our fears seem to directly have our ear.
They lead us to believe that in the past everything was just so much better and
that we all should go back to that but since we can’t the status quo is the
only and best way for us to be. Change really only ever gets us further away
from that and even further from that golden past were all was cosy and we were
safe. And if that past was not that then all the more reason to remain where
you are, right, ‘cause you don’t want to go back, it was awful back then.
So: Status Quo!
Our past, our life/live experience is our yardstick, - for better or
worse.
People don’t say “you learn from experience” for nothing.
You learn from your mistakes.
A burnt child dreads the fire.
Need I go on?
Could it not also be true that experience can make you blind? And
deaf?
I believe so. Namely, when you are so caught up in that one
life lesson that you believe it to be the only valid one, the only true
experience – again for better or for worse.
So it may be good to do things differently from time to time, to NOT
panic, to NOT accept the same old same old because it’s always been done like
this and don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.
Oh, make no mistake, it can be quite a heady thing going all out and
giving it your all and then - oh wonder - making it across that hurdle, accepting
the challenge and winning It makes you feel ecstatic and immensely proud.
On the other hand, it can bloody hurt when you fail.
The only thing that indicates however is that fear had the upper hand
once more, that you gave in to that. It means that you need to spend a little
more time getting to that „empty space“ in your head, the zone or whatever. It
means that you should practice to visit the furtur less often. Instead,
stay here, do not be scared. Be inspired.
My own personal hurdle I took bravely and with grace: two cheese straws
and a coffee, please.
